Seeing

"Not that anyone has seen the Father except the one who is from God; he has seen the Father." - John 6:46

When I was younger, I was over at my paternal Grandmother's house for dinner. It was fall, so by the time we were ready to go it was quite dark. The moon was shining brightly, so I went outside, and sat on the step while waiting for my parents to finish saying goodbye so we could go home. And I remember this part vividly: as I was sitting on the step, I saw my maternal great grandma sitting next to me, and she gave me some M&Ms. There was a brightness to her, one that seemed to light up the night, and I was immediately calm and happy right where I was - and not because of the M&Ms (though I am a big fan).

My great grandma had passed away a while before then, and I had only known her for a short time. I have small memories of her at my maternal grandmother's house, where she always gave me M&Ms with a bright smile. I know she was an amazing lady, one who made my mom feel quite special when she stayed at my great grandma's house in the summers of her youth. She was warm, compassionate, and witty. And I wish I would have been a little older, so I had more memories of her.

But I will cherish that memory forever. As I reflect back on that day, I remember not feeling scared or confused that she was there. Rather, I felt calm - like I somehow knew there was nothing to be afraid of, nothing that was out of the ordinary. After seeing her, I went back inside and told my parents, who were obviously shocked. At that point I realized how strange that event was. But I'll always remember that feeling, and while I don't know why it happened, I know I'm very blessed to have both experienced it and remembered it. And when I'm feeling doubt, unsure about what I believe or if it's all made up, I remember that night.

I can only imagine what it will be like to see God. I think it will be like that, only better. I know someday I will see Him, but until then, I can only read and understand Jesus's words. He himself has seen God, because he was sent by God. It's his words that are God's words, and he's reminding us of that - that only he has seen him fully, has heard him, understood him, and knows the reason why God sent him. And someday, as long as we listen to him, we too will see, know and understand God.